Epiphanies are those moments when you awaken to truth and capture a totally new perspective on life. A prolific epiphany happens when that new perspective has an instantaneous effect on you, as a person. It is a change that takes place in your life immediately.
In February 2008, I had one of the most prolific epiphanies ever. At the age of 39, after a horrible morning of trying to prove that I was a good woman, with my two children in the next room, my throat came face to face with a pair of scissors and I was prepared to end it all. It was the moment that suicide seemed like the only option I had. But that was not the prolific moment – suicide never is. My son, who was then 15, somehow heard my whisper, ran into the room, and snatched the scissors from my hands. That was not the prolific epiphany either.
The moment that was most enlightening to me was the realization that if I were willing to take my life with my two sons in the next room, something was seriously wrong with me. Somewhere the wires crossed and caused a misfire in my brain. I was time for me to go to the only place that mattered at that time – on my knees.
But, that was just the start.
Once I realized that I had a problem, I called my then husband and cried about the decision I had just made that almost took my life. He immediately put me in contact with a female police officer who was a negotiator and psychologist as well. She walked me through next steps, provided me with the resources I needed and told me to learn to become okay with where I was so that healing can occur. I did not get it then, but over time, I understood that healing happens when you admit it needs to happen.
Are You In Crisis? Get Help Now.
That was my prolific epiphany—admitting that I needed help and removing the masks of pain I had carried for more than 11 years. It was time to let the wall down and allow my brain and heart to mend.
Three things happened that day, and all are important when it comes to mental health.
- I admitted the problem – Until I faced it, I could not deal with it. While I did not get it, then, I was struggling with a deeply spiritually rooted depression. It was admitting the problem that helped me discover the issue.
- I sought help – I had to reach out for help first. What I know for sure is that people can reach out to you all day long, but until you reach up to grab their hand, you will simply wallow in the mess that is causing you so much pain.
- I started the work – To see change, we must do the work. That work may mean sitting with a counselor every week, taking the necessary medicine needed to balance brain chemicals, check yourself into a facility for help, getting in shape so that you brain is properly oxygenated, changing your circle of friends, creating sources for accountability, and a number of things. The work you need to do will depend on the issue and the severity of it.
The state of your mental health is dependent on what you do to heal. Mental health is important. Get the help you need without shame. Follow this link for resources available to you.
LaTara V. Bussey is the founder of the Women Emerge Community, where she helps innovative visionaries, women entrepreneurs, and ministry leaders bring vision to life with clarity, strategic planning, and productive implementation. LaTara resides in Del City, OK with her sons, mother, and Deer Nosed Chihuahua, Bella. You can visit LaTara on her website.