For some, this is the first time you’ve had to spend extended time at home with the entire family. You’re balancing work from home, the kids, maybe even your parents and your significant other.
It’s the first time you’ve had to spend 24/7 with everybody and it’s not a family vacation.
And undoubtedly, someone is bound to get on someone’s nerve.
I lived it! My husband and I worked together from home for three years.
Once again, I find myself prepared for this rare situation we all find ourselves in.
What 9-to-5’s or businesses outside the home afford each partner is space and interaction with different people. When you’re quarantined at home together, you understand how important this is.
To date, we’re still happily married, still like each other and learned how to live and work together.
Here’s what I know:
Learn Each Other’s Patterns/Rhythms
If you’ve settled into a routine, you might not be aware of your patterns. Are you ready to take on the world as soon as your feet hit the floor or do you need a minute of meditation or coffee first? What about your partner? Recognizing how you differ in your approach to the day will help keep things peaceful.
Find Happy Mediums and Learn the Art of Compromise
After decades of being up by 5 AM and solving problems by 6:30 AM, my husband is at his absolute best mentally first thing in the morning. He can hold in-depth conversations on a variety of topics and solve any problem by 9 AM because that’s what he’d always done. Our routine was to kick the covers off officially by 5:30, I’d make his breakfast and lunch and he’d get dressed. After a kiss goodbye, I’d head to my dedicated space where I’d pray, meditate, journal and get clear on my day.
That all changed his first day home. He was used to problem-solving and creating strategy by 6 AM. Me? Not so much. I was still knocking the cobwebs off and needed that quiet time alone to get myself right.
It was rough at first. He learned that I’m not good for a budget meeting first thing after opening my eyes and I had to recognize his need for mental stimulation. We’d have to find a balance. I needed my quiet time and he needed someone to mentally spar with.
We eventually found a happy medium that allowed me a moment of alone time in the morning and him time to flex his mental muscle.
Give Each Other Space
Girl’s night out or hanging out with the guys at the gym or barber is not possible because of the pandemic. Still, you’ll need space. Whether that’s time alone in his man cave or an extended hot bath for you…space in a healthy relationship can be a good thing.
Communication is Key
If communication is a weak area for the both of you, this only gets exasperated during a quarantine. The ability to express your needs is critical. And how you do so is equally as important. Thankfully, there are online counseling services that can help if this is a really tough area for you both.