By Guest Contributor
Alysia Lyons
In August 2019, I realized I was carrying around some guilt about something that happened to my son four years earlier.
When he was four years old, his babysitter was inappropriate with him. I filed a police report as soon as he told me, but nothing came of it. That’s when it started: Good moms don’t let their kids get hurt.
Over the next three years, every time it came up in some way or another, I would get agitated or angry very quickly.
Helpless. Incapable. Failure.
These were the thoughts that plagued me because of this one event, this one moment in time.
The Moment I Realized I Was Experiencing Mom Guilt
I sent my life coach a message and said, “I think I might be feeling guilty about something.”
That week, I went to a week-long coaching certification program to learn tools I can use to help people break through emotional roadblocks and help them overcome things they are struggling with. One of the tools we were learning was Eliminating Guilt and Shame.
My coach was looking for volunteers. She went around the room, and after everyone else went, I said, “I let my son get hurt.”
I watched my coach as I said the words. She nearly fell over from the weight of them.
The Exercise That Changed My Life Forever
After she walked me through the guilt, I knew more than ever I wanted to help moms with my coaching business.
When I got home, I started interviewing moms and what stood out the most was the guilt they were holding on to. And from those interviews, I wrote my book, Good Mom Rules: Ditch Mom Guilt and Find Your Happy.
This book is a work of passion because I want moms to be happy. Mom guilt is a form of self-punishment and no one has ever, or will ever, beat themselves up into happiness.
When I let go of my guilt, I realized I had been keeping my son at a distance. I would push him away when he wanted to snuggle, because someday, in the distant future, I imagined that little boy was going to resent me for not protecting him. And I couldn’t handle that. My protection patterns kicked in. I have a tendency to reject others before they have the chance to reject me. I just didn’t know I was doing it to my son.
Mom Guilt – Something Every Mother Understands
Nearly every mom has experienced guilt. What they may not know is that they don’t have to carry it around with them. What they also may not realize is how much damage it can cause.
Guilt is such a nasty emotion. It can cause you to overcompensate. You say no when you want to say yes, or yes when you want to say no. You may get angry and unexpressed anger can turn into rage. Or you can do what I did – push your kids away as a form of self-protection.
Helping Mom’s Let Go of Their Guilt
Do you need support with mom guilt? I’m here to help. Check out Good Mom Rules: Ditch Mom Guilt and Find Your Happy or if you’d like to go more in-depth, schedule your guilt-less call at alysialyons.com/guilt-less
About Alysia
Alysia Lyons is a mom first, a life coach, and an author second. She is passionate about helping moms become the CEOs of their homes and lives and guiding them to find more joy, from the inside out. Alysia leads her clients through long-lasting neurological shifts to help ease their guilt and increase their P.E.A.C.E.
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