Rethinking success in a post-boycott, post-performance culture.
Unpopular opinion: I’ve never been big on Christmas—not because I dislike joy or tradition, but because over the years, I’ve come to see it as a reflection of everything we need to rethink about success and consumerism.
It’s counter to my Christian upbringing for sure. But I think it’s my work as a marketer and entrepreneur that ruined it for me early on. I know Christmas from the economic and retail side. This is about moving product. Year-end sales. Q4 profits.
And it’s not just Christmas. Valentine’s Day. Easter. Even made-up ones like January White Sales—all created to keep us buying. Easter is actually the second-largest holiday for candy sales, right behind Halloween.
What we celebrate has been shaped by what corporations can sell.
The big productions—the trees, the meals, the piles of gifts under the tree—aren’t just holiday traditions. They’re marketing strategies, stitched into the fabric of the American dream.
But something is shifting. A slow, quiet unraveling of the belief that consumption equals joy. And that rejection is where this story begins.
I’m seeing it in blog posts. In social media. In conversations with friends.
More stuff does not equate to more happiness or fulfillment.
Ask the 92% and 80% who are boycotting Target and Amazon. They say they were spending needlessly—and have instead found not only more money in their bank accounts but a peace they didn’t expect.
More of us are seeing the power of our dollars. And how collectively, they carry weight.
Now we’re not only rethinking where we spend—we’re rethinking what happiness even means. And what truly brings us peace.
The unraveling has reached our values.
What we’re discovering is that the images and messaging we’ve been force-fed benefited a few—and depleted not only our bank accounts but our spirits.
“More money equals more problems.”
“Money can’t buy you happiness.”
And a study not too long ago validates those popular sayings.
Toxic capitalism and consumerism keep us all on a hamster wheel of overconsumption and increased debt. We’re sold products and services marketed as the solution to our discontent, but they only provide short-lived satisfaction. Think of kids who tire of Christmas gifts after just a few days—before wanting the next new thing. That cycle keeps the market alive.
It’s always wrapped in glamour and luxury. But there’s a deeper story, especially for Black communities. As we explored in a previous post, respectability politics have long shaped how we show up in the world.
During slavery, Black people were stripped of dignity and constantly policed on their appearance. Respectability politics—still alive today—taught us that looking “presentable” in the eyes of white society could mean safety, survival, and eventual acceptance.
Wearing luxury brands became a modern extension of this—a status symbol representing success and worthiness in a society that historically denied us both.
But someone once said that luxury brand advertising is designed for those aspiring to wealth—to give the illusion of belonging. Because owning—or renting—the things makes people feel rich-adjacent. But rich-adjacent isn’t the same as financially free—and it certainly doesn’t guarantee happiness.
None of this supports our happiness or contentment.
The $75K Threshold: What the Science Says About Money and Happiness
A generation of us grew up watching shows like Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous and MTV Cribs, followed by the rise of the Kardashians—flaunting lifestyles many of us would never attain. These shows dangled a dream just out of reach.
And the modern iterations that live on social media? They learned to sell it.
If we couldn’t have the mansion, the money, or the car, we could at least have the perfume. The lipstick. The shapewear.
A piece of the fantasy.
Proximity, not prosperity.
A 2010 study by Nobel laureates Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton revealed that happiness levels plateaued at around $75,000 a year. People weren’t chasing millions—they were chasing stability. They wanted to pay their bills, take a vacation, and not feel stressed by the basics of living.
In 2025, that $70,000 figure now looks more like $92,000 when adjusted for inflation. So yes, we may need six figures to feel that same ease—but should we have to grind ourselves into dust to get there?
And still, even when people reach high income brackets, happiness isn’t guaranteed. We’ve seen far too many celebrities and high earners who are struggling—some privately, others publicly. The pressure, the isolation, the constant performance—it reveals that more money doesn’t always equal more peace. And for some, things don’t always end well.
One CEO’s Bold Move: Why Paying Everyone $70K Changed Everything
Enter Dan Price, CEO of Gravity Payments. In 2015, he slashed his own million-dollar salary to pay every single employee—including himself—a minimum of $70,000. The business community called him foolish. Some clients even left. But what happened next was a lesson in what works:
- Employee retention doubled
- Productivity increased
- People were able to buy homes, start families, and breathe
One employee with student debt said the raise changed everything. Another said the work environment transformed overnight. It wasn’t magic—it was money meeting meaning. Sadly, Dan Price later resigned amid personal allegations, but the impact of his bold move still ripples through workplace equity conversations today.
That kind of shift—toward dignity, toward breathing room—isn’t just about paychecks.
It’s also about how we choose to live once we stop performing for approval.
It’s not just about what we wear or drive—it’s how we live.
I remember once, a housekeeper came to the house and said, “Oh, you have a working kitchen.” I was befuddled. Of course, we cook here—this isn’t for show. But apparently, that’s a thing now. Influencer culture has convinced people that homes are for display, not for living. But I don’t want to live in a showroom. I want to live in a space that feels cozy and accessible.
How Social Media is Shaping Self-Worth—and What It’s Costing the Next Generation
Our disconnection from true contentment has generational consequences. And what about our children? We’re not just facing an economic reckoning—we’re in the middle of a generational one. One high school teacher on Threads wrote, “Students today are broken—not because of bad parenting or lazy teachers—but because social media rewired their brains.”
He went on to share how students:
- Can’t focus beyond a paragraph without checking their phones
- Measure self-worth by likes and filters
- Feel everything but process nothing
- Cancel instead of communicate
They know the language of healing but not the practice of it. And it’s not just them. Adults are caught in it too. We scroll, compare, and chase curated versions of life that don’t reflect our values.
Choosing Presence Over Performance: A New Definition of Success
We are all at risk of forgetting ourselves in a world constantly telling us what to be. But more and more of us are waking up. Choosing quiet over chaos. Comfort over clout. Presence over performance. We’re learning that our value isn’t something to be earned by exhaustion or validated by strangers on the internet. We’re remembering what it means to define success for ourselves.
So, to the ones who opted out of the chase, who chose to build a life that feels good instead of just looks good—congratulations.
To the women who turned down promotions that came with no peace, who downsized the house but upgraded their joy—congratulations.
To the ones showing up with 20-year-old appliances, real love, and a body that doesn’t ache from overwork—congratulations.
You didn’t settle. You reclaimed.
You didn’t fail. You freed yourself.
And in a world that still tries to measure you by your output, that’s the most radical thing you can do.
This current political environment has forced many of us to reconsider our role in capitalism and consumerism. We’re pulling back. We’re returning to what truly brings joy and lasting happiness—and it’s not being found in Target or Amazon. It’s being found in rest. In community. In enough.
Lisa N. Alexander is the author and founder of This Woman Knows and What Million-Dollar Brands Know. She is an award-winning filmmaker, director, producer, and writer and is the owner of PrettyWork Creative.
This is extremely enlightening and empowering for me as a Black woman. Reminding me of my true worth and power.
It was never tied to things, Jami. Never. Much love.