What they didn’t tell you about relationships, self-help and self-love

Here’s the thing.

What the self-help books, enlightened folk, and sages of our day may not always tell you is that once you get healed…

Once your eyes are opened…

Once you’re no longer seeing and reacting to life through the lens of your past hurt…

That some of the relationships you forged in your hurt state, don’t suit you in your whole/healed state.

It’s a byproduct of healing.

It’s a byproduct of discovering who you are and reconnecting with the core of who you are.

YOU before all the trauma.

The little girl inside YOU who had dreams and a very clear vision for herself.

When you experience healing and enlightenment, that little girl awakens and she wants what she wants. Those past dreams and visions didn’t die. They were just buried by the hurt, by the trauma, by life.

When we deal with our issues, we unbury her. One shovel full after another.

And when she’s unearthed, you start to remember.

You remember those dreams. You remember those desires and they start speaking very loudly.

And sometimes the relationships you forged when you were wounded don’t mesh with the person you always were.

Sometimes those relationships become strained.

Sometimes those relationships dissolve.

Sometimes the relationships grow and evolve.

Don’t let that stop you from doing the work.

Keep peeling back the layers.

Keep the rediscovery process going.

Keep loving you.

Just be aware that your personal growth and development has some hidden costs.

Now you know.

Lisa N. Alexander is the author and founder of This Woman Knows and Put It Out There! 5 Steps to Kick Fear’s Butt and Move Your Dream Forward. She is a women’s leadership speaker and marketing consultant known as The Marketing Stylist™. She speaks on topics ranging from women’s empowerment to successfully marketing your business and uses her wit and humor to inform and entertain audiences. For booking information please visit www.LisaNAlexander.com.

5 Comments

  • Genyne says:

    Yes Lisa! I find this to be so very true. Getting to the core of who I am has been a truly amazing journey. I’m still peeling back the layers and discovering and embracing my truths and you know what I am authentically loving me in ways that I never have before. It’s so liberating to feel this way from a place other than the hurt and pain. Love this post and I love your willingness to share your transformation with us. #thiswomanfinallyknows

  • Great ! Let’s focus on lessons learned from past hurts, and use them as stepping stones to the future.
    In Sisterhood!

  • Jamesina Greene says:

    Awesome tool for further healing. Thank you for this powerful truth, Lisa. A pertinent part of the healing, is not returning to what made you sick in the first place.

  • Nicole says:

    The descriptions of what happens to various relationships was so dead-on. This was an excellent read.

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